October 02
22:04 2016

So you think you’re smart?

You’ve got a good degree. You’re well read. You’re a profound thinker and you have the ability to analyse complex issues. You make a fantastic employee. You are a loyal friend that always gives good advice to others. You thought you were immune from manipulation. You thought your instincts would protect you from vested interests.

Remember that you are just as vulnerable as anyone from the snares of a manipulator.

Manipulative people are not always detectable – that is why they are good at what they do. They speak well and project an image of themselves that masks their true feelings and intentions. They might show some vulnerability to make you relax and put your guard down. You might perceive them as people of peace and not chaos. You might end up giving a manipulator your time, your space and even your heart. In time you may confide in them and thus let them into your decision-making. In doing so, you let them influence your life in a way that is not constructive or beneficial to you.

Manipulators thrive on different motives, but they have a common thread – they are never genuine. They act through life. People who mask their true intentions and feelings never reveal the content of their heart or ambitions. They construct a beautiful façade. You might spend hours with them, but they will never show you what they truly feel. Manipulators are good at suppressing their anger or annoyance because they do not want to complicate their guise.

However take heart – the façade that is created in insincerity always cracks. If you pay attention – you will see intentions in the most intricate of things. What is unsaid sometimes gives you a clearer idea about the prevailing situation.

Sometimes astute people ignore their instincts and give someone a chance because they are momentarily blinded by words that give the impression of sincerity. Remember manipulative people study their prey and tailor their words to win people over. You might be the type of person that is never swayed by a slick politician or colleague, but in your personal life you may indeed be persuaded by beautiful words and sentiments that have no relation to the truth.

Protect yourself by not letting people in your inner circle who you do not trust 100 percent. Pay attention to your heart and to your visceral instincts. Manipulative people come across as intelligent and charming, but there is a sense of doubt around them. This is where your intuition can protect you from the objectives of a manipulator. When you see manipulation – do not become desensitised.

Once your eyes open to the ploys of a manipulator – you must not let them damage your life or well-being any further. Distance yourself from manipulators even if you once loved them. Your time matters. Indeed you matter.

By Mussarrat Shaheen
© 2016

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  1. Noreen
    Noreen October 02, 22:16

    Soo true… You write so well!

    Reply to this comment
  2. Jean
    Jean October 02, 22:16

    This article is my favourite article in the MYN. If you listen to your gut feeling you will realise when a certain person is manipulative. We should not ignore our instincts.

    Reply to this comment
  3. Humaira
    Humaira October 02, 23:51

    This is beautifully written! It’s a daily reminder to always look out for manipulative people.

    Reply to this comment
  4. Aqsa
    Aqsa October 03, 04:37

    Well said. Great article 👍🏻💖 keep up the good work xx

    Reply to this comment
  5. Hafsa
    Hafsa October 03, 10:13

    Love this ❤ spot on x

    Reply to this comment
  6. Mehreen
    Mehreen October 05, 19:45

    It’s as though you’ve taken what’s inside the mind of a manipulator and put it so beautifully into words. Very well written.

    Reply to this comment
  7. Sajda
    Sajda October 28, 14:52

    Once again, a thoughtfull well researched article that hits home. We must always be vigilant because when we let our guard down, we are vulnerable & the manipulator senses this and takes advantage of the situation.

    Reply to this comment

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